Florian thank you for sharing this! I am glad I got to learn about the full and dynamic life your friend’s father led. It really speaks to how clarity is linked to your fire, your deep connection to your core which is all about your emotions. I find it easy to “log off” after work and not want to think or deal with the friction of not only figuring out how to tap into that primal energy but also committing to making those changes.

To answer some of your questions:

– Who are the people I want to have a positive human connection with, enough so to go out of my way to build and maintain one, if at all possible? I have my friends from elementary school, college, and a volunteer organization I’m a part of in addition to my siblings that I’m close to. I recently moved to a new city and have had to start over with building in-person friendships. I’m starting with a new local volunteer organization and I’m leaning more into the connections I’ve made via ITU and my now distant community in the meantime.

– Am I consistently showing and telling the people I love that I love them, in a way that feels right for them? How am I attaining clarity, and keeping tab, about which of the “five languages of love” a particular person is wired for, so I can communicate to them in a language that works for them? Last year during the lockdowns, I actually walked my parents through the 5 love languages. We had a really great discussion on how we can continue to improve our relationship based on what we each prefer. I did the same with my siblings and it was a great way to use the same language to communicate. I could do the same with the friendships I want to continue to nurture.

– What specific measures am I taking to prioritize human connection as opposed to letting daily demands take over my life and time? Am I prioritizing the important people in my life, by scheduling in – and actually taking – a significant share of my time to spend with them, on a regular basis? Last year during the lockdowns, I set up a matrix of all the meaningful people in my life and who had made an impact from friends to mentors to family including where they lived, the last time we’d talked, what they were up to and I set out a frequency with which I’d like to reach out based on their schedules. It was basically CRM like a sales tool but for my relationships. I was good about leveraging that tool for about 9 -10 months but as restrictions lifted this past spring and my recent move, I haven’t been as good about keeping in touch. I’d like to revisit it and try to schedule more regular check-ins since again most of my friends are once again geographically spread out.